Insights on How to Create a Happy Thanksgiving

People tell us that the holidays are supposed to be a time of rest and rejuvenation, but for many families within the disability community it’s a time of anxiety, stress, overload, and sensory challenges. This anxiety can be triggered by:

• Changes in routines
• Unusual smells
• More movement around the house
• Increased social demands
• Upside-down schedules
• Extended family arriving in town
• New expectations

Even though you might be spending time in new and different environments this week, each one could hold both positive and negative experiences. There are a few things that you can do that will help offset some of what leans to the negative side.

Anxiety Tips and Tricks:

• Get yourself ready, as well as your child. It’s not uncommon for parents to feel judged by family members, and this can lead to its own host of frustrations and unrest in the home. Perhaps sending an email or having a phone conversation about the typical challenges your child might face during the holidays would be a good idea BEFORE guests are due to arrive. Give them a few ways to assist in making the holiday successful. If they choose not to come, then they are the ones who lose out. Be like Elsa, and “Let it go.”

• Talk to your kids about what will be different this week. Far too often we just forget to include them in the plans. Social Stories™ are an effective way to make life events more predictable and sensory input more manageable. Be sure to include pictures with words and design the story in a way that matches the developmental level of the person who needs it. Social stories should offer strategies for managing anticipated challenges. 

• Create a schedule for the week. Knowing that holiday time tends to get off-track, it’s still valuable to have a visual schedule of what you expect to happen. If you set it up with moveable visuals, you can practice moving the pictures and/or words around to help your child understand that schedules can change. This will help them build flexibility, which shouldn’t just be expected, it must be taught.

• Pre-plan response strategies. Grab a few index cards, or even post-it notes, and jot down one quick and easy intervention per card. You can even stick them on your frig. If challenges pop up, look at your cards and pull one off to use. These could include things like noise-cancelling headphones, chewing gum or gummies, quiet space time, 15-minute swim (with direct supervision), walk around the block, or fidget items like spinners.

• Less can be more. For some people, too much prep can be a bad thing. If you know someone who will perseverate and ask every 10 minutes when something will begin or end, keep conversation about it to a minimum, and refer them to the written or visual schedule.

• ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS provide opportunities for quiet time away from the crowd. This can be their bedroom with the door closed, or headphones and a beanbag chair in the living room. Everyone needs a brain break every once in a while.

• Gather info about uncommon places. If you are visiting someone’s home, find out if there will be lighted candles, what’s on the menu, if there will be a quiet space, how many people are expected and if there will be wifi 😊 The more you know, the more you can prepare.

In this time of excitement, frenzy and exhaustion, the thought of creating and implementing strategies can feel overwhelming. Don’t let this rob you of the beautiful memories you will be creating. Most of us may not remember exactly what was said or what we learned, but we will remember how we felt. Hold onto that and create a positive pathway to building meaningful memories.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!