Are You Living Your Best Life? Using Self-Assessment to Create a Better YOU

Self-evaluation allows you to grow and further your journey of development and learning by encouraging reflection on how you see yourself from an outside perspective. It enables you to truly identify your strengths and weaknesses, so that you can actively cultivate and grow to become the person you wish to be; and at an even greater value, pull you out of the rut of complacency that you may be presently calling “home”.

Consider the following points and questions

Social & Friends: Are you taking time out of your busy schedule to set dates with “your” friends – who may or may not be the parents of the kids that your child plays with. You’re allowed to have your own friends too! Are you satisfied with the level of socializing that you have? Think about the last time that you made a new friend? How long ago was that?

Business, Career & Studies: Is your career where you want it to be by now? Are you growing in your present job, or have you been in the same position for more than 3 years without prospect of promotion? Are you headed in the right direction? Does your company offer opportunities for advancement? Have you long considered returning to school to advance your degree?

Health & Fitness: I know you worry about what your kids are eating, but how about you? Do you consume the number of vegetables in a day necessary to maintain your health? Do you catch colds that your kids bring home from school? Are you physically fit enough to keep up with the crazy schedules that you maintain for the rest of your tribe? Is your idea of lunch a bag of M&Ms with peanuts (… to get protein from the peanuts of course)? Do you get out of breath at least 3 times per week? Are you satisfied with your level of fitness? Do you fit into the dress that you absolutely loved when you bought it?

Finance & Wealth: Are you putting at least $20 a week in a savings account or cookie jar? Do you ever think about investing in IRAs (even if it’s a minuscule amount)? Are you able to cover the costs associated with your child’s extracurricular activities, therapies and tutoring services? Do you know how to budget and cut costs? Are you earning enough income to satisfy your current needs? Are you financially setup for future growth in wealth?

Family & Marriage: Do you spend time with your spouse or partner alone at least once a day, even if it’s for a 5-minute walk around the block? Do you have an established date night at least once per month? Do you make family decisions together? Do you spend one-on-one time with each of your children, especially siblings of children with disabilities? Is your family supportive of you? Are you supportive of your family?

Love Interest: If you’re not connected to a particular person, do you want to be? Are you putting forth the effort necessary to be visible to those you might have a connection with (and I’m not referring to your Facebook or Match pages)? Does your affect and behavior express a welcoming aura around you? Have you been open to blind dates that your friends have taken the initiative to arrange?

Recreation & Fun: Even though you might have a work and family schedule that seems a bit out of control, are you enjoying your life and making it fun? Do you do activities that take your breath away and propel you beyond your normal limits? Have you joined a class just for fun in the last year (musical instrument, sport, art)? Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have been afraid to try? Do you have an active bucket-list?

Contribution: How would others rate your contribution to your community or to the groups that you’re a part of? Do you feel fulfilled in the amount of time you’re able to give to causes you care most about?

Personal Growth: How focused are you on personal growth? Are you satisfied with your direction? Are you trying new experiences and seeking to learn? Do you feel like there are obstacles in your way to take the next step forward? Can you visualize who you’d like to be or what you would like to achieve in ten years?

Spiritual: Do you spend as much time as you’d like in prayer? Are you actively pursuing a connection to God? Are you engaged with groups in your house of worship? Does your life style align with your beliefs and values? Do you look for ways to be a blessing to others? Are you satisfied with your relationship with your creator?

Self-Image: Is your purpose in life obvious to you, or are you seeking to find it? Do you spend time each day identifying a “star-moment” – a positive point in your day? Do you recognize your abilities and use them for good? Do you see just how important you are to those who know and love you? Do you find the time to reward yourself with “me-time”?

First Five Steps

If you’ve decided that you want to create a better life and a better YOU, write a goal – one at a time and one that gets you to that something that you really want. Don’t just think about it, like you’ve done a million times before, but actually WRITE IT DOWN.

1. Set a Goal That Motivates You…this means making sure it’s important and that there is great personal value in achieving it.

2. Set SMART Goals.. Just like writing educational goals for your kids, life goals should use the SMART principle:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time Bound

3. Like any smart business move, put it in writing … The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. Write it as a positive statement of what you “will” do, not what you won’t. For example, “I will do 50 sit-ups per day, 3 days per week,” and not “I would like to lose 5 pounds per month over 6 months.”
Post your goal in a visible place to remind you every day of what it is you intend to do. Scratch it down on post-it notes and stick it to your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, front of the refrigerator and on the cover of your cell phone.

4. Make an Action Plan … If you make a goal but fail to determine how you’re going to achieve it, chances are good that you’ll never see the ending you want. Don’t get so focused on the outcome that you forget to plan all the steps. By writing out the individual steps, you get to cross each one off as you complete it; then you’ll realize that you’re actually making some head-way towards the ultimate target. That in itself will reinforce your ability to keep plugging away!

5. Stick with It! Surround yourself with supporters who can encourage you along your path. Imbed daily, weekly, or monthly rewards for making it through another day or around another obstacle. Read books that explain the benefits of positive self-affirmations and make these a new daily routine. Even if there are set-backs, and there usually are, remember that YOU are the only person who can grab that steering wheel of life and turn it in the direction you want to go.

Remember, goal setting is fluid. What seems important, valuable, and attainable at this moment might not be in the next. Be prepared to alter your course as needed but remain focused on your end destination. Creating a plan of action and checking off each step along the way will help you build even greater confidence and enjoy the satisfaction that comes along with knowing you’ve achieved what you set out to do.