Mediation Services

Life is filled with disagreements – some make us stronger, smarter and wiser, and some not so much.

Most people tend to think that a “day in court” will show the opposing side that they’re right and that “justice will be served”; however, we know from history that is not always the case. When a dispute is brought into the courtroom, the decisions come out of the hands of those directly involved and are placed in those of the judge or jury. Cases like O.J. Simpson and Casey Anthony illustrate that even though both sides, and many from the public audience, feel like a case is a “slam dunk”, when all is said and done, it’s not always viewed as justice.

EVERYONE thinks that they can win, but, only one side actually does when a case goes to court. Mediation, however, is a series of structured conversations between parties who want to work together to reach an agreement on a particular issue or problem. Through this process, you are the “decision maker.”  The mediator helps you discuss your concerns but does not make decisions for you. They are there to act as a neutral person to help you focus on solving your dispute to a mutually acceptable agreement. The goal in mediation is to come to a resolution based on understanding your own view, the other party’s views and the reality of the situation you are both facing.  

Stacey has mediated disputes involving:

• Education

• Family Disagreement

• Medical Services

• Civil Rights

“Discourage litigation.  Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, and expenses, and waste of time.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Tips on How to Prepare for a Mediation

Before you attend a mediation meeting, prepare yourself to help make the mediation more beneficial to you.

1. Obtain legal advice:

Mediators cannot give legal advice to any parties. If you have legal questions about your case, but don’t have an attorney, contact one before the mediation. This will help you determine the parameters of your case. Ask your attorney what your prospects are if your case goes to court and obtain an estimate of the costs of litigation. If you cannot afford an attorney or legal advice, Legal Aid or your state’s Bar Association may have a program to assist you.

2. Select an impartial mediator:

Be sure to select a mediator who is not materially invested in the outcome of the mediation. Mediators can be attorneys, but can also be communication specialists, counselors, human resource officers, etc. This person must be able to remain neutral and treat both parties with equal fairness and respect. They do not take a side, even if you are the party who hired them.

3. Get organized:

Obtain as much documentation as possible regarding your case and your claim. Organize this information and keep it in a centralized location. Bring it with you to mediation so that if the experience becomes stressful and you get flustered, you have what you need at your fingertips.

4. Come prepared:

Be ready to talk to your counterparty face to face as this is often the atmosphere of mediation. Although parties usually find this prospect uncomfortable, it can help break deadlocks that might appear. In preparation, think about what you might say to keep as much control on your side as possible. Even if you have had challenges in the past talking to the other party, know that the mediator is there to help with communication.

5. Understand the dispute:

Making unfounded or emotionally driven demands usually isn’t productive. Before arriving, practice explaining your position with some detail so that the counterparty will understand why you disagree. Write the issues down and carefully consider which ones are the most important to you, and which issues are the least. Likewise, think about what may be most and least important to the other party.

6. Set goals:
Think about what you really need to resolve the case or dispute. Set realistic goals that guide your decision-making, but be flexible because new information may surface at the mediation that could change your mind. Plus, once you’re in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to forget what you’re negotiating for, and you can end up agreeing to things you later regret. By establishing your “North Star”, it’ll be much easier to follow that direction in mediation.

7. Know your bottom line:

In addition to knowing what you want before you start mediating, know where your bottom line lies. You should know what your absolute deal breakers are and consider why they are so important to you. It also helps if you know what the other party might be willing to concede. Whenever there are two or more parties involved, both with real requests, there will have to be a bit of give-and-take, but it’s important to have an idea of just how much you will give.

8. Arrive on time:

It is important that you arrive to your mediation on time. This shows the others involved that the outcome of the dispute is important to you. Consider challenges that you may encounter with parking – law offices are often in downtown areas where parking is at a premium. Find out in advance if parking is available and if there is a cost.  

9. Adopt the right mindset:

Attitude is everything and if you approach your mediation with the attitude of, “This will never work!” then you’re probably right; it won’t. If you’re unwilling to compromise and maintaining your current position is your goal, then mediation isn’t for you. Mediation is about openly communicating to create a compromise that works for both parties, but if the same argument is rehashed without an attitude of flexibility, the outcomes will be the same as the ones you’ve previously experienced.

10. Set personal parameters:

Be sure to give yourself some boundaries. Wherever disputes exist, there’s typically an environment that’s fertile for a surge of emotions. It’s important that you give yourself permission, in advance, to take a break. Practice self-regulation strategies, such as breathing techniques, before you go to mediation. Then, if you feel strained during the meeting, you will be able to use the strategies you’ve learned to maintain your composure and hopefully come to an agreement.